Unspoken
by cheshire06
Summary: For some, feelings and thoughts will never be known unless spoken aloud. Warning: 8059, angst, explicit content, amateur writer
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own KHR and I don't wish to (not exactly). Though I wouldn't mind owning the publishing company so that I could have an advanced copy. =)

**Unspoken**

Tsuna must have put a great deal of thought when he designed the base. But he could have at least included some magazines in the reference room or at least books with illustration in them. _Assassinations and their Relevance to the World _is not as interesting as the title seems.

It's Friday night and I'm sitting across Gokudera in the reference room. Tsuna and the girls went out for dinner. We were invited to join them but Gokudera refused and I decided to go along with him. That seems to be happening a lot more often lately. That's kind of unusual for Gokudera considering how devoted he is to Tsuna.

Right now he's just looking through agent's reports regarding the Giglio Nero family's activities. We may have changed the future but the Giglio Nero family's movements are still being monitored closely. Especially now when we're nearing the 10 year mark.

Hmmm…I wish he'd tie his hair back. It looks so much better that way.

This must be the third time I thought that. There's nothing interesting to look at in the reference room apart from Gokudera. Gokudera's always interesting to look at. Mesmerizing too.

His pale skin looks so soft and so does his hair. He's grown it a little longer these past few years and it looks absolutely gorgeous. His eyes are downcast as he looks at the reports but I can remember them clearly enough. I should since I could never take mine off them. His fingers are long and slender; totally not like mine. I can never understand how he manages that when he works with so much dynamite. He sure can do a lot of things with those hands.

I can feel my face heating up. I just remembered how useful those hands of his really are.

Haha, I think I just got caught because the next second he comes at me with a "What are you staring at, baseball-freak?!"

"Maa, maa, calm down, Gokudera. I wasn't thinking anything. Really."

"Normally, that wouldn't be unlike you but the blush gives you away, idiot!"

"Then you already know what I'm thinking about, right?" I reach out and tuck his hair behind his ear, leaning over across the table to reach him. I move in closer and start kissing him. He resists me at first. He always does, but it's only a matter of time…and technique.

I start with his lower lips. Biting it teasingly and running my tongue over it. Next, his upper lip. I lightly tug at them and slip my tongue between his lips. I could feel his gritted teeth. I explore his mouth slowly, waiting for access. Seconds later I'm granted my wish and he's kissing me back. This is also the time that my mind goes blank and everything runs on instinct. Gods! Just his kisses are already mind-blowing.

I'm starting to run out of breath and I reluctantly pull away. I'm already way too excited. It's time to take this to the next level.

I whisper in his ear. "Hayato, come on over here."

--x--X--x--

"Hayato, come on over here."

Fuck! I knew it was gonna come to this. Whenever we're alone together it almost always ends up with us screwing around. He's kissing me again; slowly pulling back so that I have to slowly get up and lean over to continue the kiss. I should stop right now but I can't. What the hell does this bastard eat? He tastes so sweet like fruit wine. I wish I'd popped some mints before this. I must taste like cigarettes.

I'm already on my feet and leaning over as much as I can but he's still not letting go. He's got his hand on my nape. What does he want? Does he fucking think I'm climbing on top of the table?! Wrong question. Of course he does!

"Naa, Hayato. Come to me already. I'm sure you want this." He starts to kiss my neck. Light, soft kisses that trail down my neck to the top of my chest. He goes back up again and runs his tongue behind my ear. Shit! I'm really weak to this and he knows it. I can start to feel my resolve (and my knees) start to give way.

His kisses must really be laced with wine because I start feeling intoxicated enough to climb on top of the table to get to him. Before long I'm already kneeling on the table in front of him. He standing now and looking up at me. He smiles at me and says "Good, now leave everything to me."

His hands make quick work of my suit. My jacket's already discarded on the table. My shirt's half open and stripped down to my elbows. I can't move but I think that's the whole point. I can feel his eyes moving through my whole body like a caress. He starts by running his hands over my neck, my shoulder and my chest. His thumb is covering my nipple, moving it in circles. I could feel my whole body stiffen. His mouth closes over the other one doing with his tongue what his thumb is. His other hand moves down and grabs between my legs. He pulls and squeezes while his mouth works on my chest. Sucking, licking, kissing and leaving burst of red marks all over.

I bite down on my lower lip, stifling a moan. My erection's becoming painfully hard. He notices this and smirks. He even has the guts to smirk at me at a time like this! He's gonna get it from me later.

"I'll make you feel even better." His hands are already fumbling with my belt buckle and unzipping my pants as he says this. Dragging down my pants, my erection comes into full view, fluids dripping down its length from excitement. His hand grabs my balls and I bite down harder to control the sound. "Every part of you is simply gorgeous, Hayato."

"Just fucking get along with it!!!"

I couldn't control it and a gasp escapes my lips as his mouth closes around shaft. Fuck His mouth is so hot. His tongue moves (excruciatingly) slowly up and down its length. If I didn't have my hands bound I'm not sure I could have stopped myself from forcing him down. He then starts to suck me, taking in the full length and then withdrawing until only the tip remains in. When he reaches the tip he gives an extra strong suck and his tongue explores its very top. "Sto –s-stop! If you don't…I'm-I'm g-gonna…"

"Just come as much as you want." He doesn't stop and even increases the tempo. His tongue is moving all over it like tracing intricate patterns. And his hand is, all the while, fondling its base. I can't hold on.

This is the result of years of screwing experience. He knows just how to drive me over the edge.

--x--X--x--

It's still late. The sky's dark outside and the clock reads 1 in the morning. Gokudera's expression when he comes is just so sexy that just once isn't enough. After that one time in the reference room, we drove to his apartment (it's nearer) and didn't finishing screwing until just an hour before.

Sex with him feels even more amazing than the first time we did it. The more we do it, the more I want to do it over and over. I look over at him. He's sleeping soundly and I can't help but smile stupidly. I'm sure if he saw me now he'd say "What are you looking at, baseball freak?!" again. I wonder if he did, would we do it all over again? Makes me almost want to wake him up.

But no, moments like these are becoming much rarer lately and it's better to treasure them. We've been getting even busier because it's almost 10 years since the rings battle with the Varia. It should almost be the time that the battle with the Millefiore should be taking place.

Gokudera's been running himself ragged monitoring the other families to keep Tsuna safe. Though Gokudera's been spending less of his free time with Tsuna, his devotion is still intact. Over the years respect and loyalty to the boss has changed from sudden loud outbursts to a quiet but intense sentiment. Sometimes I wonder if loyalty and respect is all there really is to it.

Gokudera has always shown his feelings for Tsuna but I've never been clear about how he feels about me, about us. Tch! He has never even once called out my name in the middle of doing it.

I can't believe I'm actually getting jealous of Tsuna! The guy doesn't even have any idea what's going on. Sigh, being with Gokudera is really messing me up. And all this thinking is making my head hurt.

Moonlight is playing on Gokudera's face and I'm again reminded of how beautiful he really is. I wrap my arms around him and pull him closer, burying my face in his hair. I kiss him lightly and close my eyes. Thinking is best left to people smarter than me. Right now I just want to hold him close just because I can.

­­­­­­­­­­­­--x--X--x--

When I wake up, he's already gone. My whole backside feels like hell but I get up anyway. My throat is parched and the need for a drink actually overrides the pain.

Even before entering the kitchen, I can already smell coffee. On the table was toast with scrambled eggs and bacon. Coffee was brewing in the coffee maker. Beside the food is a note.

"Remember to eat breakfast and take it easy today"

He always does this – preparing breakfast and writing a note along with it. I pour myself coffee but leave the food alone. The way I'm feeling right now anything he made would taste worst than ash. Somehow that's the impression I get when I eat food while feeling guilt. Better to just take a smoke and that's what I do.

Returning to the room, I head over to the desk and pull open the drawer. I know it's here. The drawer is filled with documents on the Allied Families but I take them all out until I reach the bottom.

There it is -- a simple box that used to hold chocolates. Inside are numerous rings, watches, even ties and cologne. And surrounding all of these are notes. Hundreds upon hundreds of little pieces of paper with messages scribbled on them. Every single note Yamamoto has ever written since we started perpetuating this mistake we call a relationship. Shit! I never realized just how many they've become. I add the latest one and shoved the box back into the drawer.

Yamamoto doesn't know I keep that box with everything he's ever given to me. It not like I'm hiding it. If Yamamoto ever saw it he would think that it was sweet, like I was saving up all his gifts. But that's not the case really.

I'm keeping them all safe because they don't belong to me. I don't own those things. Not really. More like they are on loan to me; on loan to me from the person Yamamoto will eventually come to realize he deserves.

I'm keeping them because someday I'm going to have to return all these things to that person. Because when Yamamoto chose me he had settled for fucked-up shit. He might not know it now but I do. One day he'll wake up and realize that he doesn't deserve this and he'll look for someone else. Anyone but fucked-up shit.

_Damn it_.

* * *

**Writer's note:**

This was written for a friend who requested angst and smut, who never even considered that I don't know how to write smut.

Me: "You want me to write angst and smut! But I don't know how to write SMUT! Angst, maybe, but SMUT?!"

Anyway, this is supposed to be a 2 part story, but I want to hear what you (the readers) think. If a lot of people think it sucks and ought to be burned and buried, then consider it done. =)


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer**: I don't own KHR. Please don't make me say it again.

**A/N**: Hmmm…warnings for the beginning of the chapter: This chapter does not deserve a rating M, more like a K. No smut on this one, and only mild angst. I previously promised this to be a two-shot but I'm afraid I'm going to have to break that. It's going to be a three-shot. Sorry. Can you read just 1 and 3 and it would still make sense? Maybe. But its better to read chapter 2 too.

**Chapter 2**

The car stopped a mile away from the target destination. I will have go the rest of the way on foot to avoid detection.

"Sir, best of luck on your mission," said the driver; a subordinate wishing the rain guardian well.

"Haha. I'll be back before dinner so make sure to leave some for me" I laughed and the car sped away.

I have to get back tonight. Not for dinner, though that would be nice, but for Gokudera.

He had left five days ago for a treaty signing in Italy and would be getting back tonight. Despite the fact that parted we parted less than satisfactorily, or maybe because of it, I absolutely feel the need to see him as soon as possible..

_I had seen Gokudera to the airport. The storm guardian brought nothing with him but his papers and the treaty documents for the new members of the allied families. His apartment in Italy contained everything else he needed._

_As he turned to board the plane (private use of the Vongola, of course), I grabbed him from behind, wrapping my arms around him. I could feel him stiffen from the surprise. I couldn't help but chuckle and say "Come back soon, Hayato. I'll be thinking of you."_

_At that, Gokudera quickly tuned around and gave me a pointed stare. "Oi! Stop joking, baseball idiot! While I'm away, you better focus what little brain power you have on protecting the 10__th__!"_

_I sighed inwardly but I unconsciously muttered lowly "Tsuna again."_

"_What was that?"_

"_Haha. Nothing, nothing. Of course, I would. With my life." I have no intention of letting Tsuna be hurt in any way while I was still around. I completely mean that despite the fact that I'm feeling a little jealous of him right now._

"_Tch!" Gokudera gave me an irritated look and turned back again to board the plane. For some reason I didn't want us to part on that note and I grabbed Gokudera's hand, stopping him for the second time. This time, Gokudera did not turn around. _

"_Come back soon. I love you."_

_Gokudera jerked his hand away from my grasp and headed towards the plane. "I have to go. I'm going to be late."_

It was certainly not the best way to part, even if it was only a separation of a few of days. This and many other little things bothered me, sad to say. It has difficult for me to reason out and put into words (I do most things by instinct and feel) but I feel as though something is off with the storm guardian. It feels as if he's drifting away from my grasp and the actual physical separation we have now doesn't help matters at all.

All the more reason to see him tonight.

-x-X-x-

"I see. Keep me posted. I will be arriving in 8 more hours." I put down the in-flight phone. I'm in the middle of my flight back to Japan. The treaty signing was needless to say, a success. What's bothering me now is a certain research assistant named Camellia, also known as Youka Iris.

Youka Iris, had previously been undetected by the Vongola's information network. Ever since the Vongola had banned human experimentation Iris had disappeared from sight and had eluded detection by the Vongola. However, news arrived awhile ago that a certain biology student named Camellia had been hired as a research assistant some 6 months ago to Dr. Ichikawa and Dr. Nakajima, leading authorities in advanced cell research in a university in Saitama. Photographs taken of the said student confirmed that it was indeed Youka Iris.

Both are well-known figures in the field. During the past few years they had made near-miraculous breakthroughs in the extensions of telomerase in cells, prolonging their multiplication abilities. Using this breakthrough it is now almost possible to repair parts of the body without the need for surgery. It would be possible for the body to be the one to internally replace damaged cells and even entire body parts. This is the future of their research if they can find a way to direct, moderate and control the rate, quality and direction of the cell multiplication.

Cell multiplication. Multiplication. Propagation. It sounds too much like the Death Stalk Unit for comfort. There isn't any confirmation of danger yet but neither researcher has been seen in a week. Yamamoto had been sent out to investigate the university. I know I shouldn't be worried. Yamamoto using the Shigure Souen Style is damn near invincible, but its useless. No amount of rationalization is able to shake off this feeling.

I know I should be used to it by now. How many missions have we gone through the years anyway? But no matter if it's a thousand or a million missions; it only means that I'll worry a thousand or a million times. What he said before only makes matters worse.

_With my life_

Some things just aren't funny, stupid! The 10th is important but then so is he. That's the whole point of training, of getting stronger. So we won't have to say "…with my life" when we protect.

-x-X-x-

The biology research lab of the university is located on the 3rd floor of the Science department off the west side of the compound.

No security. I guess they don't feel the need to have any, especially since this is a pretty normal university. Looking around, there doesn't seem to be anyone nearby, so I cautiously enter through the back door. Inside the building some students are leaving for the day, heading to the main entrance. I make sure to stay close to the walls and to avoid notice.

Once the students have passed, I head towards the fire exits. Attaching a small red contraption of Gianinni's designed to unlock and deactivate alarms. Going through the main staircase would have been too noticeable.

Inside the staircase, standard monitoring cameras are located on each floor. That Gianinni is a genius. The contraption beeps once, signaling that the cameras are now displaying a simple loop. Taking the stairs two at a time I arrive at the Biology Research Lab.

I'm in a simple, undecorated hallway with four doors on each side. A quick inspection of the rooms reveal that it five of the rooms were separate research labs filled with complicated equipment. I don't recognize any of them. Not that I expected to. Gokudera might know what they are though. One room was a cold storage and the two rooms at the end were the offices of the two researchers.

Looking inside the offices, there doesn't seem to be anyone in either office. Looks like I'm going to have to look through all the rooms. A low moan comes over from the next room. That doesn't sound good but at least it saves me a lot of trouble.

The next room is the cold storage and it's locked up using a biometric scan. It's a good thing Gianinni's invention covers everything. I have one hand on the handle of the door, the other on the Shigure Kintoki.

The whole room is filled with a thick fog and visibility is low. I cautiously reach out with my free hand in front of me, advancing slowly. The moan sounds again, louder this time and to the left. I inch towards the left slowly. The room is filled with pipes, tubes and steel barrels. It wouldn't be good to hit one of those and give away my position.

Towards the far side of the room, I could discern the outline of a large mass. As I got closer, I could see that it was human, barely. Tsuna and Reborn were the only ones who have seen the Death Stalk Unit in action but their descriptions were not enough for what I saw. The person before me was bloated beyond recognition. Muscles rippled disproportionately throughout his body. For all its muscles, it seemed unable to support its weight and simply lies in a crumpled heap on the floor.

"Who…are…y-you!" he demands. His voice was barely recognizable. It just came out as guttural sounds.

"Dr. Ichikawa?"

"ICHI-KA-WA!!!" The voice was more beast than human.

"I'm afraid you got the wrong person. That's Nakajima, this is Ichikawa, Yamamoto Takeshi, Vongola rain guardian."

"Camellia…" Nakajima whispers almost tenderly, raising his arms in an attempt to reach out to the woman standing behind me. Youka Iris is standing calmly with hands on her hips, wearing a lab coat. Behind her stands an even more grotesque monstrosity than Nakajima.

"What have you done to them?" No sane person would allow this cruelty to happen.

"I didn't do anything. They did this to themselves. They thought it would make me happy but I never asked them to do anything." She says in a sickly sweet but remorseless voice.

"However, now that you've seen them, I can't allow you to return to the Vongola. I won't stand them interfering." At that Ichikawa came charging right at me.

The suddenness of his attack did not leave me enough time to prepare a good offensive but I could still create a defensive to deflect his attack. Spraying Rain. The whirlwind-like shield stops him in his tracks and gives me enough time to put more space between us. I adjust my hold on the Shigure Kintoki so as to use the blunt edge of the sword. They were still human, underneath all that and they still had a chance of reverting back. They were only victims of Iris. Shamal might be able to do something.

Ichikawa is surprised but it's only a second longer before he charges again. It doesn't seem that he has much fighting skills. He's only going berserk, only reacting. If that's the case then its best to create confusion and a distraction. Duplicate Rain. To do that, I would need a little elemental help.

A quick thrust and slash through the pipes sends most of the vales and metal barrels bursting and water from the cooling system start filling the floor of the cold storage. Almost immediately an ear-shattering scream resounds throughout the room.

"Wrong move, guardian" says Iris. Nakajima's form had started to shift and morph, growing bigger and bigger. "The temperature in this room was designed to slow down the propagation of Nakajima's experimental body. Now that the temperature's rising, I'm afraid it can't be stopped anymore."

Nakajima had, in just a span of a few seconds, grown to double his previous size. Now instead of just one opponent I found myself facing two. Nakajima is now battle ready and has joined Ichikawa in the charge. Their arms kept reaching out in the attempt to reach me and crush me in their grasp. It was becoming very difficult to maneuver in this tight space filled with debris.

With them so close the only option available is Pelting Rain. That got their attention and they back away. Before they could react, I charge in with Axle of Rain; thrusting into Ichikawa's middle. He stumbles back, clutching his bleeding torso. But this did not stop him. It only enraged him more. He charges blindly while I barely avoid it, he's unable to stop his momentum and crashes right into the wall, creating a fair sized hole on it.

While I stand still, shocked at the sheer power, I feel a powerful blow crash into me. I had forgotten about Nakajima. My ears are still ringing but I shake it off as I run back away from the wall, towards the direction of Youka Iris. Predictably, Ichikawa and Nakajima followed.

Nakajima was the faster of the two and was quickly closing the gap between us. I stop abruptly and charge him. This is my chance to finish this with Duplicate Rain. He continues to charge towards my image in the water while I ready myself to strike him down. He crashes into the wall of water and right on top of Youka Iris. She had been hidden behind the curtain of water. "No, you fool!" she shouts but its too late. Nakajima falls on top of her, crushing her rib cage and piercing her lungs. At the same moment, I deliver the blow to the back of Nakajima's head, knocking him out.

As if realizing the death of Iris, Ichikawa shouts an incoherent battle cry and stampedes towards me. But this time I'm ready. I circle around the room leading him on. If I can lead him back to the wall where he crashed earlier I might get him to crash against it again. That moment of shock when he crashes coupled with the Scontro di Rondine will completely immobilize him.

I reach the far end of the room and wait for him to come at me at full speed. Just a little bit longer. There. He crashed into the wall just like before, widening the previous hole. I move behind and come at him with Scontro di Rondine, aiming for his injured torso. It's a direct hit. He stumbles and grasps in front of him for a handhold as he crumples forward.

"Shit!" I underestimated Ichikawa's bulk and speed. As he crumpled forward, his grasping arm manages to snag my arm and he quickly throws me over. Before I can react I find myself through the hole and in a complete freefall, the ground rushing to meet me.

_Gokudera. _

-x-X-x-

I woke up startled from restless sleep. We were preparing to land. Thank God! I needed to get in touch with headquarters regarding the progress of Yamamoto's mission.

As soon as I disembark the plane and head towards the waiting car, I dial the rain division's number. "Tell me what's happening" I don't bother to introduce myself. They know who I am.

"Gokudera-san! Yamamoto-san has been rushed to the emergency room!"

"What?!" My mind has started to go numb and my fingers feel too cold and frozen to maintain their hold on the phone.

"Dr. Ichikawa mutated and Yamamoto-san was thrown off the building during the fight! The doctors are seeing to him right now! He's…"

I don't hear the rest as the phone falls to the ground. "Yamamoto…emergency room…thrown off…"

_Come back soon. I love you. _

_I love you…_

**A/N**: Thank you for reading Chapter 2 and my attempt at action scenes. For those who were expecting Smut and Angst (since that was what I said in Chapter 1), I promise more of that on Chapter 3. Not that my smut and angst writing is anything to look forward to. (Sweat drops).

Please read and review because reviews are very much appreciated.

Thanks to all those who reviewed the previous chapter! Love you for it! =)


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